Skittle Run

Today was well.... I don't know. Cara, a friend of mine, thought it good to get me out of my house and take me to get skittles. She said it was for the whole shpill that happened yesterday. It was sweet of her but I don't think skittles are going to hit the spot for this one. But I agreed and left with her. She wanted to try the new skittles.... smoothie kind. I wasn't hungry but I ate a couple to let her know what she was trying to do meant something.

We always used to go on long drives together and listen to music just letting us reflect and talk. So we did that today. It was beautiful I must admit. The sun was a golden globe of warmth that I could feel seeping into me sitting in it's light. I love that. It felt very much like spring.

I wasn't very talkative. I was quiet and full of thoughts.

She decided to drive randomly where ever she felt and I agreed. She, first of all, drove past his old house, and then instead of going straight turned onto the street right next to the airport. All I could think was, "Please no, please don't turn here." Cara said something like, "Wow I haven't been here for so long... This is great." Yeah... It was great. Alot of wonderful memories even just right there. At that spot I remember feeling that I knew something I never knew before. I danced there once. I danced in the dark, silent field with an amazing individual and heard music. aaahhhh The day we danced....

She then turned around after that and drove to the golf course next. Right past a sewer plant and a pond. She stopped there and took some pictures and I, still silent, thought. Then to a playground, then to a gas station where the "big man" comment followed. I thought about telling Cara to stop driving and take me home but I didn't want her to. I loved all these memories. And even if it sucks and is painful and lonely now... I will always love those memories. They weren't sad so why make them that way now.

It just hurts you know?

Love.... its funny. You think your trying to make things simpler and it only turns out jummbled. I still love though... Don't get me wrong its just my little skittles drive just didn't hit the spot to help me get over any of it. But it was wonderful none the less. It was sweet of Cara. She didn't know what she was doing... but it did help me to know what I need to do.

Smoothie skittles.... they taste like Mambas but I suggest sticking with the originals.