So this is Christmas

Yes... Anna was my gift, Candle tradition rocked my world, Unplugged a baptismal font on Christmas eve and soooo much more. I made silly little ornaments for my roomies and couldn't go to sleep without watching Taylor singing me this song. Merry Christmas all ya'll. I love you.

snuggle

I just finished watching "the incredible gift"(or something like that) while snuggling with two youngsters who 'couldn't sleep'. I debated on the idea of them getting out of bed to come watch it with me but then thought- "When do I get chances like this?" So once again, I am the favorite auntie Kate.
It was something I will never forget. Taylor falling asleep in a ball on my left, after chowing down some serious grapes, and Faith, getting a sleepy voice, saying "I like this movie... don't you?" over and over again on my right.
I got all emotional after putting them to bed and talking with Jen. I am going to miss these little people being around and available whenever I want to come and see them.
Its hard to think that once I left there... I might possibly never be back. (Wright and Steph are moving the first week of January, I believe.)
You could say it was hard for me not having my family all living in Utah like pre mish. Things change, time rolls and know I am getting a lot out of it... but sometimes I just wish and want em here.
Is that too much to ask?!

 

To me dance is something that is apart of me. Its something I need. Another semester is over and my last dance class/performance has, yet again, ended. I always wonder if that is the last time I will set foot in a dance class or be apart of a team. It would be devastating. I have found that through dance I can truly let it all out... I feel something so wonderful and strange that hasn't been discovered in anything else that I do. Its such a release and comfort. I feel completely myself and so vulnerable... Perhaps I will incorporate it into my career? Maybe I will just be the viewer on the other side? But it needs to be apart of my life.

Financial Reality

I took a plunge. I applied for my first financial aide and it's kinda killing me slowly from the inside out. I begin to wonder about jobs I don't have and the ways in which I will never be able to pay back what is expected of me. I feel panic ebbing. What about in 8 months? Totally depleted of all income and nothing to support the 'family' I had saved up for all those years? Can I do it? Will I get it back? How am I going to contribute? Muscles tensed, headache in the back of my skull... Man oh man
BUT
I am okay

Jingle Bells

Cara and I found jingle bell rings. This is the outcome.

What else could I ask for on my day of thanks?

Magic tricks, superman, booger noses.
Dancing in the movie theater with the chillins and Steph.
Running on texan terrain.
Squirrels have the 'heebee's'... (Faith is terrified of em because of this)
Shark game outside with family. Yes. Mom and Dad were running.
Faiths birthday planning skills.
Bingo
Missionary notes to all the missionaries going home.
Prepare food, cook food, eat food and more food.
Dance concert starring Faith, Taylor and Wright, with me accompanying them on the piano. side note: Stickers on face- 'Slightly uncomfortable.'
Copy cat game
Rolls crumbled all over the floor...
Hiding rolls with Rachel and Grant. (Word to the wise... momma no likie)
Mom's tired silly mood.
Wrights little laugh, Faiths cuddling, Taylors tantrums and Tristans starring/drooling.
Decorating turkey pie hands
'Into the Wild' is inspiring and depressing.
Fountainhead is lookin good.
Rice Krispies stuck to blankets.
Sea Shell massages... surprisingly ticklish
American Doll Stores
Standards night
General Authority restroom with heater....oh mama
Time to talk, play and sleep
"Texas is so big it is as big as a wrestler."
Rachel, Grant, Mom, Dad, Wright, Steph, Faith, Taylor, Wright Jr. and Tristan....

the Gratitude dance

Here, here to Thanksgiving! Some friends and I have decided, or rather, 'packed' to do this on the morn of thanksgiving. Come join in on our gratefulness. Man... I am totally grateful. :)

Martha Graham

Our arms start from the back because they were once wings.

Sister... Darling....

Oh how I love thee! You are mine and mine forever. You are making 30 look like it is 16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I, as you know, have always wanted to be you... but coming to grips that is quite impossible I am happy and content being me and having you as my sister. You inspire me and make me want to do things I never knew I was capable of. You are full of insight and intrigue. You are sassy and silly. You care for people and love so immensely. Hope all the birthday bashes know what they are getting when you step into the room. I do. Love you mucho and so much more.

WALL E

I loved this movie!

"Aspire"... this was a blast from a wonderful past

I have a miracle to tell you about.

Thursday night I had come to find out that the application for the U of U's Social Work Masters program was due on the 1st of November... (Meaning 2 days from then).

I was frantic. The next morning I zoomed up to the U of U to pick up the application packet and the secretary questioned me if I was 'really serious' about applying or not. I was firm in how I answered but somehow in the elevator I could feel my eyes swelling up with tears. I quickly stopped, bolstered myself up and decided to not give up.

I sped back to Provo for my 10 o' clock class. I was late and so I parked in the teachers lot for about 25 minutes. It was a dance class. I didn't feel relieved as I usually do after dancing but ran out barefoot to move my car...Got a parking ticket.

I began my process of applying- Apply for school at the U of U, fill out the applications, get transcripts, write essays, find referrals... the whole deal. I was really worried about referrals because I was asking so late. I felt totally unprofessional. Good new is though-it worked out! I finished my application, got the referrals needed (with the help of Nate) and was able to have a little halloween fun. Miracle #1

I woke up this morning with only about 3 hours of sleep and drove to the U of U to drop of my application. I was stoked! I actually finished it!

The information in my application stated that it needed to be turned in by the 1st... mailed or delivered. I had supposed someone would be there, on the 1st, but found myself standing at locked doors...outside the building with no one around.

I kept on looking at my manila envelope and up at the building only to laugh. 'Are you serious?'
It felt like such a joke. I thought that was it. 'Maybe I could mail it but then it would be too late.'

I called my mom, thinking maybe she would know how to solve this, when I saw a man park next to my car. He got out and proceeded to walk to a trax stop(or so I thought). I had a strong feeling to turn around and follow him, so I hung up with my mom and ran to meet him. I found him at the Social Work buildings door unlocking it. I introduced myself. His name was Fred.

Fred was my miracle today. He let me in! I slid my packet under the office doors (as instructed by a pink sticky note plastered to the door) and left smiling.

Fred works on the second floor. His son just got home from his mission in Ekat. Russia.

I am going back with a bag of oranges in hand to thank him.

THANK YOU FRED!!!!

I'm in love

Craving time with the parentals and loving every minute

"Earth is crammed with heaven 

And every common bush afire with God;

And only he who sees takes off his shoes...

the rest sit around and pluck blackberries."

                                      --Eliz. B. Browning

I just discovered that this has been one of my mothers favorite quotes since she was in elementary school.  She would write it in letters to friends and just loved it.  Crazy thing was... It is one of my favorite quotes as well.  I didn't discover it until college, but made a promise never to forget it.

I love finding out how similar we are in ways and how very different in others...  

Today I spent time just talking with my mom about embarrassing moments, missions, and marriage....  She picked out my husbands last name.  You ready?  Its s-stallinovich.  Yeah. I don't think she meant it to sound like 'stallin' per say.... but wanted something russian sounding :).  She was really getting tired and in one of her laughing moods, which I LOVE.   She got on a roll saying how she would introduce me- "this is mrs. S-stallinovich...." or "we are going to stop by and see the little S-stallinovich's" with a chuckle in between. etc...  It was great.  I love my mom.

It's something priceless and something I promise never to forget.  

Sisters

Gotta have em.

Fall runs

All who know me... know I LOVE FALL. I decided it was the perfect time to kick myself into gear and have been running every morn. It's cold, it's 7 AM and leaves are smothered across the street. I am feeling better about myself. Also... those who know me know that I HATE TO RUN. Yes. It is true. I have committed myself to a little experiment of 'learning to love to run'. We will see how it goes.

On another note. Although I love fall... is it okay if I feel like I would rather want to experience this in Tallinn, Estonia? IT was a glorious fall. I don't know... just missing my home worlds away.

Volunteering today.

Question- "What is a profession that only women have?"
Answer- "The profession of baby having."

Question-"If we say 'Happy Birthday'... what would we say?- _______ Halloween!"
Answer- "Horror Halloween."

Question- "What is a common injury that occurs among children?"
Answer- "Infectious diseases... that is definitely an injury to your body"

-Playing Hangman-
The word was 'CHARITY'.... we had C__AR__T__.
"Oh! I know... its- CREAM PUFF!"

I love old people.

Quotes that fell my way this past week.

"I believe the biggest risk in life is not taking risks at all."
"Life is for living."
"Change is painful but ever needful."
"You can't pursuit happiness... you find it by seeking who you are... your purpose."

Friday

Scene- Taylor and I, snuggling on the couch in our pjs.

Taylor looks up at me and "LooBlue...."

I taught her how to say "I love you" in russian the week I got home and she could only remember-
"I love"...

I love that- she loves.

My Grand Adventure...

Starting it with -

Laser tagging with the family (yes... dad and mom running around trying to shoot me with lasers ha ha)
Magic plants outside my window that never die.
Packing up my life for the next little while.
Death Cab for cutie- Transalantism (or something like that) while showering
Listening to "I'm bringing sexy back" with the sisters as my last song. :)
Recieving heart rocks, a ring my grandpa gave my grandma, and a sand dollar.
Hugging and kissing and playing with my nieces and nephew.
Being set apart with the ones I love.
etc. etc. etc.

I am a missionary and its past my bed time now. I love you all. See you real soon... sorta. :)

I have never talked with so many people in my life! I have said good bye to a lot of people I wish I didn't have to. I have to expect that things will change... I am going to. I am sad and so happy. How can both feelings be felt at the same time? In saying good byes to some my most cherished today I didn't even weep. Strange for me. I came inside and talked to Anna and felt the tears coming on but pulled them back. Why? I think, if any, this is a proper time to do it. Maybe just a new way of hiding. oops. :)

As I sat down after speaking, I realized that I had just spoken at MY farewell. wow. This is real. Really real.

A mission it will be.

Today I woke up early. Not on purpose, I just naturally woke up earlier today and found myself just smiling. It feels of spring and the sun is bright and warm. A scrumptious grapefruit was for lunch and a big family home evening together with everyone to come. I am happy. Really happy.

Simplify

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

I purged my closet today. It feels real good. Its an exciting feeling to know you could live out of a suitcase...

English speaking Padres!

My parents have been called to be Mission Presidents! They are leaving in July and will be finding out where they will be serving at the end of February! I can't even believe it! When they first told us about it the other night, before they got their official letter in the mail, my parents were dead serious and told me they were going to be the new mission presidents in my mission! Ha Crazy! We laughed a lot, cried a lot and just soooooo thrilled! What a beautiful blessing! Weeeeeee! I am soooo excited!

With what do we hold our days?
Live free and wild,
spring and bounce.
Walk with the clovers and dance with the sparrows.
Silly simplicity dangles on the edgings of our feet
and love sweetly holds to our toes.

Mission dreams

I had my first dream about my mission today. I have had previous dreams but always at the MTC or about a mission but not in my mission. Venita was my companion. We went into a home and the people spoke english. So I was doing okay. We taught a young blonde haired boy who wanted to hear more. We ate with the family and found that a girl from down my street right now (in real life) had married into this family to a guy named Shepp (my hair cut guy in real life). We left there to Josh (my friend in real life) calling me about some problems he was having in the church. I was helping him as Venita and I were walking outside when all of a sudden Venita vanishes. I dropped my phone and ran. Venita fell through the ice. Apparently we were walking on a frozen river (I just watched Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind... frozen river) I panicked and didn't know exactly how I was going to save her but managed to pull her out of the water. I held on to her and ran with her wanting her to get inside anywhere quickly because only a few minutes in that cold weather and she would be ice. I seriously was freaking out. I tried one house. Nobody. The next house- nobody and then finally I just walked in to a house even if no one was home because Venita was about to die. Turns out Venita lived and the house we broke into had people who were interested in learning about the Gospel. I told them thank you and who I was in Russian. (Some main things I know how to say right now). It was a good dream and a nightmare all in one. Man. Its closer now. 18 days.

24 days! What do you think about that! Weeeeeee!

kiss

You know those times when you laugh so hard that your face feels like it is going to fall off and your stomach is one hard mass of muscle? I experienced this last night. It was absolutely blissful. It feels good to be sooo happy, where you are actually drained from the greatness of it all.

Since the call...

Just some photos from the cruise with my sisters, opening my call, going through the Manti temple, Angels Landing(Zions Fall 'o6!), Snowboarding trip from Hell with Kathleen, Ventia home at last, my last trip to Idaho, Christmas time, Yurt Adventure #2 and our(Emily, Nate and Kate) candlelight dinner night with a depressing movie to top it off. :) I have loved the memories!

 
 
 
  

 
 
 
  

 
 
 
  

 
 
 
  

 
 
 
  

 
 

Today has been a good day. There are times where I can just sit and think and read and not stressed in any way. Not a care in the world. I 'reflected' a lot today as well. I read old emails on my BYUI account and thought of my first years in college. I looked at old photos of my father growing up and pictures of when my Mom and Dad were dating and engaged. It was nice. I ate lunch with my sister and Mom and saw a whole flock of little sing song birds fly across the sky. I watched an episode of the office and felt bad for Michael. I sat by my fire and thought about a mission that seems so foreign to me. Life is wonderful. Its simple and beautiful. To think from where I started and to be sitting where I am now. I have learned so much. I have met so many wonderful people. I have seen and felt things like never before. I love the memories. I love the new ones that will come. I love living.

Dang Insecurities!

I have a very VERY difficult time handling situations where I am not understood. I know I have a problem communicating. For years I tried every way to deny it. I would blame others or situations. I would play the 'victim'. I just fought the idea that I, Kate, had the problem. But I do. I am getting better, as the realization has occurred, but still find it hard for me to accept it at times. I want to think that I am not a poor communicator. I would like to think that I do nothing wrong... but that is just not true. I am humanly flawed. I try not to get emotional when I am misunderstood. I hide. I can get stubborn, fight back, second guess or hold on to things said. Not to say that I am never understood, because I find most of the time I am, but when I really feel I want to communicate something precious and important, to me, it can end up that what I was trying to say was not understood or conveyed correctly. Its frustrating and find at those times that I just want to not talk or try again. Obviously, I love talking to much not to do so but feel that maybe I never really will be understood in those 'deeper' parts of me. I can accept that. I just want that so badly. I want people to know what I intended to say even if I fumble in the communicating of it. Its a work in progress that is for sure. Language is a mystery. I struggle, lately, with myself about going on my mission and not having anyone understand me. Insecurities are shown. I know the words have power but the message I am proclaiming is much deeper than words. It will be felt. All I can do it try again.

Tired

I had a realization today. I take for granted what I have. I was making one of my friends feel bad that he didn't come on this Yurt trip with us yesterday. He didn't want to go because of the money he could be making instead of the adventure. I told him, "But what about the memories?..." Well right after that we went and saw- The Pursuit of Happyness. There was this one part where the main character lends someone five dollars when he, honestly, has no money and how hard it must have been... I turned to my friend and said," I would just punch the guy in the neck and run off with my money," kind of just being stupid when my friend said something. "But think about all the memories..." I know he was playing with me about our last convo. but really, I never thought about it. Money is a big deal to succeed, go to school, live... And here I am saying that the yurt trip was only 15 dollars. Only 15 dollars! I know alot of people I have worked with that could be just happy having that. I am selfish, unthoughtful, and not grateful enough. Makes me think how I really should use money and how I should rethink how I live life. So I realized today.

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th’unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!

There's something about-

The fresh scent of pine.
The bushes by my bedroom window and how they are green all year long.
The lady who conducts songs, on her radio, while driving.
The sound of the heater turning on.
The huge snowflakes that take their time falling.
Egyptian Licorice herbal tea and Mint Hot Chocolate.
The christmas lights framing my roof.
Decorating the tree.
Singing by the fire at night with my family.
Old Christmas claymation movies.
Scarfs, gloves, hats, and more.
The cool, crisp air and the bundles you roll yourself into.
The family I have.
The smiles and laughter.

There is just something about it.

Much to be thankful for...

150 Years ago today my great great grandmother, Mary Goble Pay, entered the Utah valley with the Willy and Martin Handcart Companies. It was around nine'o'clock that cold winter night. Mary was sitting in the wagon cradling her mothers head, who had just passed away. Tonight I was able to sit with a huge group of family that came about because of her. She had 13 kids and what a woman she was. What a feeling of love I have for this woman and the pioneers who strived to follow the Prophet and walk into the unknown. What where they wearing? What had they eaten? How many had died? What were their feelings as they came out of that canyon? Amazing. Truly.

Christmas Devotional 2006

What a wonderful time of year. I think everyday this week I was compelled to tear up due to some instance where I realized true happiness. Where I really understood what makes me happy. This Christmas Devotional was good. I learned a lot from it. When and where do I do things for others that they cannot do for themselves? Do I consciously make an effort to do that and to do more? Do I give God my heart, my all? Do I focus on the 'Spirit of Christmas'? How strong is my faith? Why haven't I met my neighbors I don't know? Do I make time or do I just watch t.v.? Tonight a lot of questions were rushing around in my head. I want to be more. Be better.

I smiled as I sat there, all snuggled up with Anna, Jessie and Scott watching. Loved seeing Scott gently kiss Jessie on the forehead or watching Jessie cross stitch a masterpiece with only one hand. I loved being able to put my head on Annas shoulder and write my thoughts down on paper. I love just being there. Being with my family. Its Home.

Whistle while you work

Got home from the gym. Rachel had made breakfast. Good! It was oven baked eggs with some good ol' spices like rosemary, basil, thyme, etc. I cleaned up. She cooked so I wanted to clean for her. BUT that was not the end of my cleaning. The fridge at my parents house just kills me! Always has. It smells funny, has weird food just piled in it from who knows and just not very feng shui. So.... I cleaned the entire fridge. Feels a lot better now. Beautiful and neat. Makes everything more enjoyable for me in the kitchen. Wish I had a before and after shot. Man on man. There is just something about having things clean and doing it with my own hands.

Stranger Than Fiction

Just saw it. Go to it. See it. Love it. It seriously makes me want to wake up in the morning and be... 'Me'.

Do you know?

So, does anyone know where to find- Womens size 9 1/2 thick soled,insulated, waterproof, polishable boots? Cause I don't.

Thanksgiving!

I love you all. I miss you all. I am thankful for you all! Hope Thanksgiving was fabulous!

Alma 32:27

But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Three Cheers! Hip Hip... HOORAY!

Do you know what I like? Happy People! Life is just too dang good to be otherwise. :)

Enjoy!

There is something I love about the end of fall and the start of winter. I have this tradition, if you will, where after I have been gone all day from home- I drive into the circular driveway in the darkness of night, park, turn off my car and let the 'music' continue as I watch the first flakes of a wonderful season come falling down onto me and watch how my front door is colored by them. Its simple and beautiful. Such joy it gives me. Then after soaking it all in. I open my door and the cool air touches my face. I smile. And with one last look for the night, I walk inside.
Its just a wonderful feeling. It in a way, this season, gives me this feeling of wanting to be loved. Weird probably I know. But summer flings or whatever... the season of fall and winter is completely comfortable, warm, and just romantic. I want to be loved. Everyone, I am sure, does. But the end of fall and the start of winter brings somewhat of a feeling like that with it. Good times...

Just call me 'certified'!

I just got home from a four hour test for my licensure as a social worker. I passed!!!! I was so scared I wouldn't for some reason and when the screen came up and told me if I had passed or not. I automatically thought I didn't pass. But once realizing it acutally was a big fat 'pass' instead I screamed! ha. Yeah! I am just so grateful.

www.myspace.com/emilyhopepricecello

That is Emily's myspace account. Go listen to her!

The beginnings of a cello player.

I just want to write and express something. My cello teacher, Emily, once asked why I wanted to play the cello. I responded in mumble sort of manner not really knowing how to express why I wanted to learn... I went to one of her house concerts and tears welled in my eyes hearing and seeing Emily play. So there I was, trying to express why I wanted to play the cello when in all actuality I was describing or trying to describe what was right in front of me. Emily. That is why I want to play. Because of people like her. She is truly amazing. She is passionate. She has emotion. She really loves what she does and its all about the music. She is creative and talented and deep down soul-full. I just really am so glad that I was able to be taught by her. Even once. She has made learning the cello not just a hobby for me but an instrument I will never forget. She is going to be big! :) She asked me to play in her last house concert, which I really hesistated on. Its totally not what I do. I fear it. I fear being alone and everyone watching me play. I fear messing up. But because of those reasons I decided I would accept the challenge and just suck it up no matter the outcome. I was nervous. I mean.... My whole body was shaking and couldn't stop! Hands sweaty, Rashed completely... So when I played with my bow it had a nice little influctuation from my body shaking! I kept going though. Tried to not think about what I was actually doing, performing in front of a crowd, and just did it. It wasn't my finest. It wasn't some immaculate thing. It wasn't perfect. But for me I learned that I don't have to be perfect. No one is expecting perfect. Just do the best you can. So there you have it. I, Kate, am learning the cello from the greatest teacher in the world and faced a fear. Thanks Emily.

The Russian Alphabet

Oh my goodness!

I have been called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the Baltic Mission!!!! (That consists of Estonia, Lithuania, and Latvia! I will be learning Russian and leave on February the 14th! Valentines day. Ha. I am so excited and shocked that it feels so surreal! I AM GOING ON A MISSION!!!!! :) Whopee!!!!

Assigned Friday. Any day now...

Smile Wrinkles...

As you can see... wrinkles appear in the later part of an 'adolescents' life.

Let the good times wrinkle.

WAITING!!!!!

Man... I am just in a blogging sort of mood I guess because I have been posting alot lately. No matter though. There is a certain excitement about helping clean a room filled with clutter. You never know what you are going to find. Not only that but the feeling of a clean room. That you cleaned for hours and hours. I was able to help my mother with some 'key clutter' rooms in our house and it was really really fun. My dad was shocked. Couldn't believe we did it. (If there is one thing you should know it is that my dad is a pack rat. My mom is too but not to the extent my father is.) :) It is nice to see my mom light up at a picture she saved out of an old calender because she couldn't bare to throw it out. Or the many picture frames she collects or cards that fill up at least a whole column in the storage closet. To see how she created a treasure box for the grandchildren and the many arts and crafts she has on hold for any of us to do. Its fun to go back in time and be able to look at my grandpas memories. The things he saved and cherished. To see how that was sort of passed down to my dad. To see how parents are so attached to projects their kids created that the kids would not even want to keep. Its like finding out little details about my parents I didn't really know before. My dad loves these english comics from back in the day. Or funny little drawings and pictures he has been storing since before I was born. Who would of thought..... helping to clean out some rooms in a house, I have been living in for more than half of my life, and am now just beginning to find the meaning in them.

"I've Got Better Plans"

They say-
Just commit for a year.
Just commit for 8 months.
Just commit for 6 months.
Just commit for 4 months.
Just commit for 3 months.

And all I have to say is - "No, no I am sorry. I cannot do that quite yet..."

Home again

Wow. What can I say. Conference, yet again, was amazing. The talks were sooooo good. On Saturday, as I was sitting in my dads seminars, I could not contain my eyes from swelling up with tears. I could not explain to the extent I wanted to, to the new hired help that was sitting there with me. It was an interesting time for me. This new guy found out I was LDS and from that moment on would non chalantly ask me questions about the church. "Oh course I would never go to your church but..." or "Why do I go to church", "Why do I pay tithing", etc.... Sparks of interest were there even if he said they weren't. Its good to learn of all religions in general. As I put on my head phones for morning session on sat. in the back of the room, with a pen handy, he came, sat down, plugged in his head phones and listened. He listened to bits and pieces throughout the whole two sessions. I thought that was awesome. He was very real in the fact that he didn't feel like I was trying to 'convert' him or anything. He just was interested in why I was so into 'Being LDS'. I am proud to be who I am. I don't mean that to sound boastful but I am sooooo glad to be apart of something I know for myself to be true and that makes me happy. I am grateful for such a wonderful Prophet we have. I can not emphasize enough how marvelous and refreshing it was to hear these men of God speak to me. It only reiterates the callings in which we all have. To be who we are. To be real and upfront. To strive and push forward. To take in the moments that make life soooooo wonderful. The leafs are changing and full of color. The sky is blue and the day was warm. Thankful I am. Thankful I am. I only hope that I can be better.

Honey.

Today at breakfast I was looking at the honey thinking.... "What a wierd substance...and we totally love it and eat it." So I decided to look up how honey is made. And well.... it goes through this whole process of thrown up by field bees, fed to the house bees and then 'some how' magically transfered to the honey comb. Wierd maybe disgusting. Yet so good. It is said to be all natural. Natural in that bees do this all the time I guess but, if we did that as humans I might just vomit... and not feed it to someone. Also, interesting that bees even make honey. Why? Amazing really. It all goes around.
Here is what I read--

What is honey? How do honey bees make honey?

Honey is a sweet, thick sugary solution made by bees. The composition of honey consists of varying proportions of fructose, glucose, water, oil and special enzymes produced by bees. (Glucose and fructose are types of suger)

The first step in making honey begins when field bees fly from flower to flower collecting the sweet juices or nectar that a flower provides. With their tongues, the field bees suck out the nectar and store it in sacs within their bodies. After filling their sacs with these sweet juices, the field bees fly back to their bee hive and regurgitate the stored nectar into the mouths of house bees.

These house bees are assigned the job of adding enzymes from their bodies to the nectar. The enzymes cause the water in the nectar to evaporate-thereby turning the nectar into honey. Lastly, the nectar is stored in a cell of a honeycomb. Overtime, the nectar ripens and becomes honey.

The buzz on honey...

Honey is one of the easiest foods to digest.
Honey is used in many cough syrups because its smooth, thick texture soothes throats.
As a result of honey's unique ability to readily absorb air, it is often used as a moistening agent in baking.
Honey comes in all types of colors and flavors. The color and flavor of honey depends on the how old the honey is and the kind of flower that the nectar was extracted from.

Just some thoughts.

I am continually amazed at these seminars my dad is in charge of. If the TV show - The Office would just come to one of these events it could, seriously, be the hit of the season. :)

Another thought- The Whole Foods stores that I have seen from Western Washington to where I am now I just love. If it wasn't so dang expensive I might just be a regular for my groceries there.

And yet another thought. Tomorrow I am stuck in a conference room all day... But the great thing is- I still get to listen/watch conference! I mean seriously how amazing is that? That you can get online and be able to listen and watch things live! We are sooooo lucky to have all these commodities available to us! I think I sometimes don't think twice. But I am fortunate. :)

And last but not least- There is something wonderful about people watching in a book store. It's not about TV, Movies, blah.... its about good ol' books. And they enjoy it. I like that.
That's all for now.

...Something Wonderful Is About To Begin...

Welcome Fall...

I sat outside today just taking in the season that is... Fall. The smell I just cannot get enough of. I have to admit though the feeling of fall could be depressing BUT once you sit on your porch and take it all in, thinking of the wonderful things life has to offer bringing this season, it is actually quite the opposite. Go outside. Sit on your porch. Silence. Wind breezing. Take in the air and become Fall.

Letter my Great Grandma wrote my dad on the day he was Born.

Dear Little Man (My grandson)

Its very late or I should say, very very early in the morning, and time all good grandmas were in bed, with their night caps on, but not this one. I'm far too excited to do such a common place thing as sleep-

Today I recieved good tidings of great joy- Unto the Thurstons a son was born- You my Lamb.

Its such glorious news, I keep thinking over and over I have a grandson-

I want you to know how welcome you are, and congradulate you on your choice of Parents. Out if this big wide world you picked the most loving mother and father- They will cherish you and guide you thru the years-

I hope you will learn early in life that love is the greatest thing on earth- That you will love nature, and enjoy the beauties of the great outdoors- See the face of God in the laughing brook, the unfolding of the spring buds and the flight of the swallow-

And I hope you will have a feeling for good books early in life- Books are our silent friends.

I love you. I love you. Good night.

(It continues with more from the next morning and when she holds my dad for the first time etc.)

Tonight as I was just about to hop on the computer my sister Anna was asked to her high school homecoming dance. I got to help her look for the guys name in a cereal box. This is not all though- This guy has been the long awaited crush she has had for sometime now. I kept on telling her that he would come around and then they would fall madly in love, well in love as much as you can be in highschool. I kinda miss that feeling. Getting asked out to a dance, hoping its that one guy. Of course Anna played it cool in front of the padres BUT as she headed down stairs she couldn't help but smile and scream with glee! Happiness I feel. She is so excited how could you not be. I think that is how is should be though. Kathleen just told me the finishings to all her boy details and what can I say... she is so excited and happy and I just love it. Here here to having those you love being in love, or in like, or just happy. It is a good feeling.

Done?

Happy Birthday to all!

Anna- What you mean to me is more than what can be expressed. You are motivated and busy and beautiful and loving. Smart, passionate, crazy and spiritual. You are radiant and a crumple. You are assertive and messy. You are addicted to Nutella. You think you look like Scott. You are creative, spontaneous and such a prankster. You listen and open your heart. You care for others. You are strong and forgiving, colorful and tall. I love you! I love you! I love you! XOXO ... Come play with me after school!

Cody- One year older and wiser too! Cody you are a great friend and I am thankful to know you. So caring and hardworking and insightful. Have the best day ever!

I am a Social Worker

Today was officially my last day as a student. I took my last test here at BYUI and got to end this school experience the way I would have wanted... I got to dance. We had a little performance. I just can't even describe the gratitude I feel for this institution that has taught me so much more about dance and its deeper meaning. Its feels so surreal to be done. To not ever have to go to school again if I don't want to. Man it is crazy. I am now no longer a student. I am a social worker. :)

Smitten...

Its true. I am 'smitten' by a boy. I met him at the beginning of summer at a local gas station. Just a crush. Just a fun little crush. All I can say is that I am smitten with this one. Never been like this before. I actually talk to him and flirt with him and he seems to be doing the same. He hasn't asked for a number....yet :) but I don't care too much because this crush thing is just fabulous! His name is Jon. Today he said I looked good and if I would kiss him on the cheek... ha. You know, thats totally normal for someone who helps you at a gas station huh? :) Its just so fun to have a crush. But even better when its someone that you are smitten by. Its a good day.

That page has finally turned...

So many books to be written. So many stories to tell. I swallowed myself and finally turned the page...

There is alot more to this book, I haven't seen yet.

Let me just tell you how hilarious my mother is. She last night was preparing to leave on this church history cruise with my grandma and aunt. She, first off, always gets the feeling that she doesn't want to go right before leaving. Like she will miss what the kids are doing or something like that. Also, for the life of her, she could not figure out what to pack. She ended up staying up all night doing laundry, making lists for Anna (which she dated everyday she was gone as march 12 and so on rather than August), ironing, etc. So as 6:15am rolls around, She almost forgets her diabetes medications as we are leaving and shouted which scared me to death! But this is where it gets good. My mom when she doesn't sleep doesn't get huffy... she gets real giggly and talkative. She couldn't stop moving around and hustling and bustling with whatever she was doing. She in her commotion grabbed all these papers. books, magazines to read on the plane ride and just spilt them everywhere. She just laughed. As we were driving there was this random stick in the road and my mom just bursts into laughter because why would a stick like that be in the middle of the road?! Of course! Ha. I know this doesn't even sound funny. Cause I cant write to give those last few moments with my mother before her big trip justice. But I love my mom. She is great. Thats all you really need to know I guess. Simple and sweet- I love her.

Too much and too little....

Lately I have been feeling that I need to do more. I don't think I am helping enough, or cheerful enough, or appreciative enough, or caring enough. I think sometimes I am too selfish, too emotional, too helpless, too lazy, too scared. I want to see people for who they are rather than what I might percieve them to be. I want to expect nothing and give everything. It takes work. I am too prideful and say I am too busy. I want things I can't have and don't even give that, which I want, to others. Its time for Kate to stop it. To stop and drop what I thought and start again. I love you. I pray for you. I want nothing better than for you to be happy and on your way to the best experiences you can possibily grab on too. I want you to feel loved and cared for, appreciated and know that I am grateful. I want you to feel secure and warm and wanted. To know you are brillant, beautiful and talented. To know that whenever you need someone to listen, talk to or just have to have... I am here. And I don't do that. I need to do more.

...There still is beauty...

"Close your eyes.
For your eyes will only tell the truth
And the truth isn’t what you want to see.
In the dark it is easy to pretend
That the truth is what it ought to be."

"You are Special"

Randomly, a piece of paper that someone scribbled on ended up in my hands. And I got scared.

"It is real. We both know it."

Sunday fun and Me at 400 lbs. - LAUGHTER IS WANTED

Its hard to hear that your sister would rather play with friends...
that you are too 'obsessed' with a boy
that its time to change.

Its easy to ignore
to hide
to fake
but it will never close the gap.

Can't somebody understand me?
Can't somebody see I need?
Does anyone care?

Its easy to ignore
to hide
to fake
but always I want more.

life is beautifully blurry...

played in Egin Lakes
woke up to a blissful 6 o'clock morning
sat in my last social work class at BYUI
danced for the first time in 6 months
tuned my cello by myself for the first time
changed a flat tire for the first time
and talked with Harriet about life and being a girl!

Man.... it just never gets old does it.