"You are Special"

Randomly, a piece of paper that someone scribbled on ended up in my hands. And I got scared.

"It is real. We both know it."

Sunday fun and Me at 400 lbs. - LAUGHTER IS WANTED

Its hard to hear that your sister would rather play with friends...
that you are too 'obsessed' with a boy
that its time to change.

Its easy to ignore
to hide
to fake
but it will never close the gap.

Can't somebody understand me?
Can't somebody see I need?
Does anyone care?

Its easy to ignore
to hide
to fake
but always I want more.

life is beautifully blurry...

played in Egin Lakes
woke up to a blissful 6 o'clock morning
sat in my last social work class at BYUI
danced for the first time in 6 months
tuned my cello by myself for the first time
changed a flat tire for the first time
and talked with Harriet about life and being a girl!

Man.... it just never gets old does it.

Oh my gosh, what am i doing awake?!!

walk

Blueberry muffins and a boy to keep me warm.
Quarters and childhood stories.
In love and helpless to know it.
You smiled at me and I screamed inside.

D.C.

Monuments are standing. Einstein is still thinking... And sometimes all you need is a rolled down window with the air rushing in.

DEFY GRAVITY!!!!

I can't even explain or know why I love this song so much but it just 'moves' me. The overall idea of the song I love and belting the lyrics at the top of my lungs isn't half bad either. DEFY GRAVITY!!!! I think we all need a little pep talk like this every once and awhile.

Blueberry muffins and a boy to keep me warm. People watching and childhood stories. Barefoot in love and helpless to know it. You smiled at me and I screamed inside. This is it girl... Jump in and take the dive.

Breath deep, breath hard.
Wipe your body,
shave your tears.
Sew your heart that tore...
so many years.

I tried and asked but you weren't there.
You were talking
on the phone
to a girl with pretty brown hair.

Inside out and la la la la
I guess I am not the one
you thought you saw.

Kiss me just once
say its alright
make me feel that I am the only one...
Tonight

Walked alone
air fizzing in the mind
your weren't there
your were talking on the phone
to a girl with pretty brown hair...
How could I be so blind.

Hide it, Flaunt it,
only show a smile
But this hurts my baby
I don't think I will recover for the while.

Birds with no wings
Mice that are blind
I try to jump
but only end up cryin.

Breath deep, Breath hard
Wipe your body
Shave your tears
Sew the heart that broke
for so many years

Eternal Sunshine...

"Joel, this is it you know? Soon this will be gone too."

"I know"

"So what do we do?"

"Enjoy it."

Man... I haven't felt like this for a long while but here I am up at 2 am and still wide awake. I want to do so much. Say so much and well my thoughts just go with it all. I love this time of the year. The warm nights, the smell of the breeze, good company, green everywhere..etc I just love this feeling I am having. I got alot of time to spend with my sis that I haven't had in a long while and laughed and laughed hard. I went to a concert and didn't care about singing out loud. Some one called me who didn't have much to say but wanted to say hi- which was super sweet. I ran in the rain. I started building my credit on a rent to own Cello. Got a cheap 60 minute massage at a college. Moved around my room. I don't know. It just all feels great! Take it as it comes. Don't freak out or over react. Smile. Laugh. Play on a swing set. Go on walks. Take off your shoes. Help someone else out. Stay up all night. Ahhhhhhh... welcome summer.

D&C 45:62 and Deuteronomy 31:7

For verily I say unto you, that great things await you.

Be strong and of a good courage.


This time in my life, I have found, is a place of endless choices. I am graduating and now free to go were I would like, see the people I care most about, and have the opportunity to decide, in some ways, what I will do. This is the time in my life to have no more regrets. No more confusion. This time in my life I need to trust my self and the feelings I have(along with God and such). All too often I wouldn't pay attention to that and now I am not willing to ignore it. Willing. Ready. Scared. Happy. It will happen. My life is changing and I like it. Great things await. :)

Summer Seminar Uno

Seminars are always an experience when working for my dad. For one, everyone tries to get on your good side because they think you can give them a deal. Two, you get all sorts of crazy people that come every year even if they have heard the talks over and over. Three.. New places to see.

This last seminar was in NYC. Scott puked out the window of a taxi in jam packed traffic, No one I worked with wanted to go explore so I got to look around NYC city by myself. (Which was refreshing and fun)Played peek a boo with a girl staying at the hotel and every time I saw her after she would run over and say hi, Got a gift given to me by one of the attendees, A speaker saying- "I put this up here so you could look at my package". (totally didn't mean it badly... he actually meant a package of his program! :)) Convinced Scott to go explore to find a good indian food restaurant, Going to the play Wicked! (I will defy gravity), Got hit on by a Guy at the seminar who just couldn't get over how "beautiful" I was (wanted to show me the town, gave me his info to come and stay with him, and probably did it just because Dad was the one putting on the seminar!) Ha. It was grand. Some funny times. Always something interesting happening!

Carrot Bat?

Road rash: a tribute to Jeff

Just got back from long boarding for the first time in about a year. My hands feel like they are ten times the size they should be, trying to adapt back into warm apt. air. I smell like wind from the great outdoors and drove a stick shift toyota truck. Today was a good day. I got alot of things done and am happy.

Amy is Engaged!

(Us girls at our finest!)

GUESS WHAT!!!

Confirmation Recieved.

Today I got the chance to go to the Temple. Temples are so wonderful and amazing to me. The feeling, the experiences I have had there have been tremendous. Right after being baptized I came out of the font and the woman, for whom I was doing family names for, asked me- "Have you recieved a confirmation?" I stumbled on the quesiton. I had earlier prepared for the temple trip with some questions at hand but to hear her say this...it stuck me. Do we go looking for a confirmation? Do we fully think about this? I asked her to repeat what she had asked... so again she said, "Have you recieved a confirmation?"... then went on to say it differently- "have you been confirmed yet?" I smile at that moment I had. Taught me something more. Go to the Temple! Sit outside in the sun, on the Temple grounds, and think. GO TO THE TEMPLE! and I promise you, you will feel something there. Something wonderful. Recieve a confirmation!!!! :)