word

Salubrious \suh-LOO-bree-us\, adjective:
Favorable to health; promoting health; healthful.

Where have all the drafts gone?

I did it. I took Emily's advice and just pressed publish. I don't even know what was in all of my drafts but I did it. And to tell you the truth it felt good. Most of the drafts, from the dates I saw, were from March, June, Sept, Nov. of last year and I think some from Feb. and March of this year. I don't think I will ever read them considering I had reasons for probably not posting them and it would just get me all jummbled inside if I should have really posted them or not. Ha. I am silly. Anyways... I don't care anymore. Write because you want to! Cheers! :)

Break for Kate

okay... I have come to a decision for right now. Lately I feel that every time I try to write and post something I end up saving them as draft because I don't feel that I can express or write or they are stupid. I am just SOOO FRUSTRATED about it and bottled up and feel that I don't need that. So I am taking a break from blogging for awhile. I will browse others but as for me I need to get over my low confidence problem or whatever this is... I feel insecure about it and unable to express how I really want to... writers block I guess but for now- just going on a vacation of sorts. :) See you all sometime soon! nighty night!

cant express

Tonight I got the chance to sit back stage of CDT in Concert up here at college. I don't really know how to express or think I can express how much I love it. There is a feeling there. The sound of marley under bare feet, the rush of wind when one turns, the heat of the lights, the light trees you try not to hit exiting the stage, the music, the movement, the mood. I caught myself from crying I think 7 million times! Sitting back stage as compared to in the house audience is a completely different experience. Back there it just reminds you of these intense times. Extremely difficult, wonderful, funny times. I don't really know what I am saying. Dance for me was an outlet. One way I really felt I could express my feelings and be understood. (I tend to have a huge problem with communicating and it being understood the way I intended it) It was something I could completely indulge in. It engulfed me. I see dance as a place where others are allowed into my dreams. Not only mine but just a place to dream. A place to let your thoughts go. Rarely was I focused on the technical moves compared to the thoughts and feelings I experienced. Yes I will dance on but preforming and being sooooooo emotionally connected... it is just different. The girls with which you dance also, I feel, know you so well. You knew everything about eachother. I mean seriously when you were preforming and made eye contact you felt as though that other persons soul was seeping into you and visa versa. I can't write out how I feel. I feel regret maybe... but not regret. I feel happiness and sadness... Really I just miss it. Life goes on but man.... I never ever want to stop feeling how I do about dance. Its beautiful. AHHHHHHHHHHHH! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!

GOOD MORNING!!!

It's a good feeling going to bed at 10:15pm and waking up automatically at 6:45am

Yesterday I experienced something that particularly affected me while at my intern. Since I am the intern I don't want to run the whole thing or step on toes or anything so I try to be apart of the whole thing as well as stand back when its not my place. Well today I put my two cents in. One situation that stands out in particular is when we were at chow (dinner) two girls began to ask me if I have ever been in love and if I have a boyfriend or dating anyone. You, in those situations are usually suppose to turn it to them- asking them questions etc... but felt that I was fine to answer. I kept it short and then they began talking about their relationships. One girl talked about ever since she could remember she was abused physically, emotionally, sexually, all... well she began to go into all these details and I stopped her and asked her what she has been doing to help her get out of those situations. She told me nothing. I asked why not? She said because they loved me. Because it is better that I get hurt rather than my family. I asked her to think about what she was saying... because I know if my family members were being treated like that I would be affected by that. I then again asked her to look into it because she, and the girls in my group, have soooooooo much potential and no matter what, NO MATTER WHAT! no one should treat you that way. She deserves, everyone deserves better than that. Its a hurting behavior. I see so much good! So much talent and ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! They just have never believed that for themselves. Well we talked throughout all of chow. Trying her to go deeper and so as we went to group meeting she was awarded the group time and wanted to talk on it because I had made her realize some false beliefs she has. The feeling was over whelming... I didn't even think twice about our conversation but realized it affected her as well as taught me that I can give advice and help

Wow... today has been a great day. I did not go to one stinking class but instead... ICE FISHING with all my Juvenile Delinquent friends! I must say I didn't know what to expect but it was awesome. Especially going with these girls. I was able to catch the first fish as well as the biggest by the end of the day... 14 inch Rainbow trout. I must say I am pretty proud of that considering it is only beginners luck. I think the girls really got into it. Took time to reflect, play around and have fun together giving alot of good helping encouragement. The best part was getting to our spots on the lake. The wind was blowing so hard it would push you across the ice. These girls, if you could imagine, were freaking out screaming Ms. Thurston! Ms. Thurston help me! :) It was hilarious. If I didn't know better I thought we were all about to die. We all laughed hard with some falls on the side! It was beautiful out there. I liked the wind particularly just because it added an extra dynamic with the group. Things were flying away left and right! So great. I look at all these bright beautiful girls and see tremendous potential in all of them. So intelligent. So energetic. They just need to put what they did today into action throughout. I feel a bond with them. Like they are my sisters. I want them to fix up their lives and live life more enjoyably as I felt we experienced today.

Mustard?

Its official... I have secretly found a love with mustard. Not that I love it in its plain form yet but today I had the best, most delicious, salad dressing in the world... okay well the best salad dressing at least with mustard in it. Not just mustard either. Honey Dijon Spicy Mustard!I have to admit... I never thought I would like it at all. Here is to changing it up and living it large! Mustard for all!

--I will get the recipe on here soon and pronto. Yes... yummmm. :)

any comments?... feel free

Listen to your heart.

When I am old...

I once read a poem entitled- Warning. A couple of summers ago on my way home from a river trip, with some friends, we decided to go around at random and start with- "When I am old I shall wear purple and..." then add on. It is a memory for some reason that stands out to me. The laughing, silly comments, and thoughts that I had.
When I am old I shall wear purple and wear crazy bright pink lipstick.
When I am old I shall wear purple and kiss my husband all the time.
When I am old I shall wear purple and do the splits and cartwheels.
When I am old I shall wear purple and swear. (I thought I would. I don't think I will anymore.)
When I am old I shall wear purple and go barefoot.
When I am old I shall wear purple and dance just because.
When I am old I shall wear purple and jump on my bed.
When I am old I shall wear purple and act senile just to get a rise out of my children.
When I am old I shall wear purple and laugh loud and long. Maybe a hackle or two.
When I am old I shall wear purple and keep my hair long and white.
When I am old I shall wear purple and have sleepovers with my grandchildren.
When I am old I shall wear purple and probably smell. :) haha
When I am old I shall wear purple and go skinny dipping. "Bare Wrinkles" :)
When I am old I shall wear purple and sing loud not caring what it sounds like.
When I am old I shall wear purple and spend quality time with my family.
When I am old I shall wear purple and have dinner club.
When I am old I shall wear purple and explore.
When I am old I shall wear purple and go skydiving.
When I am old I shall wear purple and wear non matching clothes... or better yet extremely matching clothes with those grandma shoes.
When I am old I shall wear purple and sit on my porch.
When I am old I shall wear purple and have a garden consisting of anything imagined.
When I am old I shall wear purple and tell stories to my grandchildren.
When I am old I shall wear purple and listen. Giving XOXO's :)

Found this on my mirror...

Kate,
I love you!! Sorry I left you, but hopefully I'll see you there.
Kami

(when I die this is what I'd say to you 02/23/06)


HAD TO LAUGH! :)

Burnt out and Summer goodness

Its come to that point in the semester where I am totally burnt out. I feel no motivation even though I know I have to do things. I am super tired and just want to sleep. I had the experience of wishing that the week would be over and summer would be here. I am just burnt out at the moment but have resolved to only allow this behavior this week and than kick it into action once again. What a waste of Education if you don't learn anything. So I am learning! :) Speaking of summer though. I have lately had this feeling that something wonderful is going to happen. Other than from what I am anticipating. I don't know... its a wierd feeling. Something that I will decide to do or what I will do this summer is going to affect me greatly. Not only that but what I decide will have an impact on if this "certain something" happens. I have no clue what it is but feel this sense of happiness. Simple happiness. Hard to explain. I just know that I need to prepare myself for anything. Be ready to jump when necessary. All that I know now is that I will be up here at school doing my intern and graduating this summer. So we will see.

Michael Vartan (Vaughn)... I love him.

http://vartan-web.com/photos/displayimage.php?album=98&pos=0

Go to link to see him up close and adorable! :)

Star

So on my way down to Utah two billboards just stuck to me. Eye catching. I couldn't get them out of my thoughts. The first one said- ESCAPE THE WORLD. I began to think of all sorts of wonderful things. I imagined sitting on top of the car with my arms opened wide, closing my eyes and letting the air brush past me. Sweet smelling and wonderful. Then I would jump, flying around. Where? around the buildings twirling, flipping, speeding up and slowing down, flying high as I could and end up not where I had began but rather, on a star. I imagined the star like how we draw them...A huge bright warm star. (not some fire ball.) :) And there I would stay. Sit and think. Looking at the whole scheme and smile. The second billboard I thought said Research HOPE. I thought as I passed that- Maybe I should. Why not? But coming closer to it and realizing it actually said- Research=HOPE. Still it stuck with me. :) What a great drive!

Don't kill. It only leads to death.

Valentine

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.

Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle's compass come:

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,

But bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved.



William Shakespeare

(1564 - 1616)

Wrinkles forever...

Today I couldn't help but notice my hands. How could anyone ever love these wrinkly old hands!

100 MPH on Kates Dip!

Kami... welcome to the club! :)

John Milton

Sabrina fair
Listen where thou art sitting
Under the glassie, cool, translucent wave,
In twisted braids of Lillies knitting
The loose train of thy amber-dropping hair,
Listen for dear honour's sake,
Goddess of the silver lake,
Listen and save.

Today

Woke up, did homework, put on some pants, left with Kami, filled air in tires, Kami "forced" me to go to Idaho Falls, ate at the first Italian or Chinese restaurant we could find, ended up at a chinese place, by fate decided what we ate, Kami ended up with chow mein/mandarin chicken, I ended with chow mein/fried rice (picked that three times randomly by spinning around the menu and then choosing with my eyes closed), recieved our fortunes which Kami said would be our destiny!, laughed at the outcome, next drove to icecream, talked to a girl who loved the truffle kind, wierd ha, drove to the temple, parked and ran across the street, played by the river, walked on the river! (Its true), Felt like a kid, laughed, scared, survived, drove home, pumped iron, ran, watched Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (amazing), made Valentines, did poetry night in candle light, took a shower, poofy hair, no makeup, glasses, barefeet, sitting on bed, talking randomly about life dreams with Kami. Ahhhhh! What a day. I woke up not knowing what I would be doing and I have loved it all.









(The top fortune was for Kami. Good luck! ha, the second one is mine... but considering how the top one was farse I don't really have anything concrete to believe mine is not farse as well. hahaha And besides what kind of fortunes are these anyways! Ha)