COLOR BLIND

And a Merry Christmas to you too

2009-09-20T12:27:00.001-06:00

Jacob and I set the date! December 26th at 3pm in the Dallas Temple! I understand it is an interesting time for all to come but would love to have you there. We will keep you up to date with cheap ticket fares and all.

We will also be having a reception/party/somethingorother after the holidays but that date is yet to be determined. ha

Love you all

Jake and Kate

It's alright to cry....

2009-09-18T10:08:00.002-06:00

Can you even believe this?! Nancy showed this to me one morning right when I woke up. This video is classic. Enjoy

Soon to be a Fordham!

2009-09-11T11:28:00.003-06:00

Life right now seems a bit surreal. Too good to be true! Jacob proposed September 7th and I freaking said YES!!!!!

He came over early that day to wake me up with a dozen red roses. SO CUTE. I couldn't sleep and was already awake when he arrived. We shared some yummy honey nut cheerios for breakfast and then got ready, in our matching UVU t-shirts, to go hiking up Milcreek canyon. :) The hike was called Ganduer Peak. It's about 6.5 miles and so beautiful! We took our time on the top taking it all in and snuggled. We found some heart rocks and talked about harry potter. After, we ate some lunch, took showers/got ready and had a little nap. Jacob was so ansy though...and I had no idea why. We had decided to go look around at pepperwood falls and as we were on the rocks playing around he told me he had sometihng for me!.... It was the heart rocks from our other hike. ha. I thought it was going to be a ring. :) After that we decided to go over by the Draper Temple to watch the sun go down. As of lately we have been watching the moon come out behind the mountains and thought that would be a good place to sit and watch. Jake had never been on south mountain at night and so we started off! We got to the Draper temple only to find it was closed, of course, due to Labor Day and it being a monday. So we drove around trying to find a 'good spot' for moon watching... or so I thought. We soon found a patch of grass that over looked the whole valley. It was perfect. As we sat there Jacob talked of how as much as one tries to plan things... sometimes they don't go how you thought they would. I agreed. He told me he wanted to marry me. I of course replied in the affirmitive (thinking we were just chatting)... Jacob then started moving a bit. I thought he was just re-adjusting how he was sitting but turned to snuggle up next to him to see a RING! I got all big eyed and open mouthed and quickly kissed Jake. He then popped the question and I immediatley replied back YES! following it with giggling, laughing and "oh my gosh! oh my gosh! oh my gosh!" The smile on Jacobs face was priceless and will never forget it. We stayed there for a bit talking and kissing and laughing and just WOW.

I am getting MARRIED!

To the best person I can think of- JACOB LEVI FORDHAM!!!

I love him and he loves me.

Its seriously the best thing one could hope for.

"Dear Voice in My Head,"

2009-08-25T16:19:00.002-06:00

So I have started out on a somewhat unknown venture with my internship for my masters. I feel a little disappointed, numb and really not sure if I am feeling good in these shoes, BUT I am determined to find the best and look for opportunities to grow.

Yesterday was my official day on the job and we had a group therapy session. One girl brought a letter she had written to the 'voice in her head'. It started with "Dear voice in my head,"... As this girl began to read this letter she became very emotional with it all. Really letting it all come out with choice words, screams and yells. This 'voice' for years had told her she was no good. That she was nothing but dirt and of no worth. It stopped her from even trying to go to school because 'she was so dumb'. It was empowering to see this girl realize that the 'voice in her head' didn't control her. That it lied. That she was more than nothing. She was herself and that mattered more. She conquered,overcame and now is beginning a long unknown and scary adventure of really believing who she has always been.

I think we all have this "voice in our head". I guess the choice is ours... do we let ourselves believe the voice or our self.

Confession

2009-07-23T15:11:00.003-06:00

I realized it when I was a senior. I sat in front of my TV downstairs, around 2 a.m., watching a video Wright and Steph had sent to my family. I thought it was normal if family were involved.... but then I found a show- 'It's a Baby story' on TLC. Now, I can't control it anymore.

I weep as these little people enter our world and their parents are filled with this immense gratitude.

So I confess... The miracles like these cause me to cry. Yes...yes they do.

Adj. 1.burned-out - exhausted as a result of longtime stress; "she was burned-out before she was 30"

2009-07-19T18:03:00.002-06:00

For the record- "She burned-out before she was 26".

It's time for a break.

Any ideas?

I will be done in about 2 weeks with Massage Therapy school and have 2 weeks before my Masters begins.

2009-07-15T14:56:00.003-06:00

Freud said- "Fear is the opposite of awareness."

So is "Faith/Hope the opposite of ignorance?"

There is also the sayings- "Ignorance is bliss"

But also- "No Man can be saved in ignorance"

So is fear bliss?

There is a lot you could say...

Please do.

Enjoy it

2009-06-23T22:26:00.003-06:00

I don't know exactly what to 'blog' about anymore these days... I feel I am so busy all the time that I do not exactly have time to write or even think! ha. Life is wonderful, scary and unknown. I am loving what I am learning though. I just got back from a trip to Moab. (pics later) It was great. There is just something about escaping and not really caring about anything but 'being'. I feel really grateful to be dating someone who is 100% patient with me and accepting of all imperfections. I am grateful for sisters who love me and stay in touch no matter where we are in the world. I am thankful for my parents and the emergency calls I can make to them, even if on a mission. I am thankful for massage therapy school and how I have grown and met people I will cherish forever. I am grateful for thunder and lightning storms in the desert. I am thankful for my calling as Gospel Doctrine teacher. It has helped me to really dig deeper in my studies and humbles me daily. I am thankful for struggling with finances... (weird right?) It has taught me a lot about reality and growing up I have needed to do. I am thankful for getting accepted into my masters... It was hard to fully grasp what I am about to do but everyday I get glimpses into how this is the best thing for me as of now. Lastly, I am thankful for Walmart having strawberries on sale so I can make freezer jam tomorrow! Whew.... I had no clue I was going to write all that. I guess I could just tell you all the I am THANKFUL. Life is good... so what should I do? ENJOY IT

Jacobs power animal :)

2009-06-08T20:50:00.002-06:00

The Swan

Elegance Confidence Loyalty

Take a deep breath and let the spirit of the swan fill you.

The epitome of grace and elegance is now a part of your life. How fortunate you are!

Let her help you bring a certain elegance to the way you dress, the way you live, everything you do. It should come naturally now, for you are the swan.

Fill yourself with confidence. Let your beauty shine out in all ways. Float gracefully through life, knowing that you will always be welcome in the company of others when you breathe in your swan energy.

The swan will also help you maintain long and loyal relationships, for she knows how to stay true to another and attracts the same to herself. Let the swan spirit give you confidence that you are fully deserving of love. Trust that long-lasting love will be a part of your life, for you are the swan.

Let the swan teach you to live in more than one world, comfortable both on the water and in the sky. Learn to fly with purpose to your destination, neck outstretched and trumpeting your joy. Then learn to float in tranquility on the peaceful lake, a portrait of grace and elegance, wanting nothing more than simply to be who you are, the perfect swan.

2009-06-07T12:15:00.002-06:00

There is need to explain about my previous post. My 'power animal' is the elephant. This was found on a whim with my friends up in Rexburg last weekend. It made me laugh... and now I have fully embraced the elephant spirit from within! Jacob did it when I got home. That will be my next post. He has fully embraced too what is now his. ha.

Go try in out- poweranimalsunleashed.com

2009-06-02T08:07:00.003-06:00

The Elephant

Strength Wisdom Purpose

Take a deep breath and let the spirit of the elephant fill you.

Ah, what power is yours. You are a tower of strength. Your heart is full of courage and you know that you can do and be anything you care to. After all, you are the elephant.

With the elephant spirit within you, you will be able to command attention and hold power without saying a word. When you are this strong, when you have this much power, you can do and say little and still have great impact. Your power is absolute; there is no need to talk about it. You command the situation simply by being.

Your elephant energy will also increase your memory and allow you intuitive access to the wisdom of the ages, teaching you as the elephants have taught each other, generation after generation. As you walk the old elephant pathways of knowledge, you will find that solutions will come to you with a sudden knowing.

The elephant energy is very social and affectionate and will allow you to build a strong support system of loving friends and family, loyal and devoted. Close interactions with others will come naturally as you become more comfortable with elephant energy.

Whenever you need to, just breathe in deeply and let the elephant power pour into you. Then go about doing what you wish to do, quietly and with purpose, knowing that you cannot help but succeed. For you are the elephant and the universe bends to your will.

Go Utes!

2009-05-28T07:59:00.003-06:00

So it is about time I fill you in on my life at the moment. I got accepted into the Masters Program of Social Work at the U of U! That's right.... bleeding blue to red. :) It starts this fall. I am in the advanced standing program which will only be about 3 semesters. I am stoked!.... and a bit scared. It will be quite the experience! Thanks to all who helped me with the application and work put into that. You guys are great. I honestly didn't think I was going to get in and feel really lucky to have the opportunity to do this. So Utah it will be!

Anna

2009-05-15T12:18:00.000-06:00

Is my favorite.

That is all.

I love you Lilac

2009-05-06T23:23:00.001-06:00

2009-04-14T22:55:00.000-06:00

2009-03-25T22:27:00.002-06:00

Some interesting things have happened to me this week. I will be brief.

Someone told me 'If you love something enough, you will find time for it.'
This is so true. I need to make adjustments in my life.

Also, Please go to the link on the side for ALEXA LEE.... her posts are great. Her last post on Risk really spoke to me today.

Love you all... My computer is broken and rarely get a chance to get on to someone elses... so this is it for now. Ciao

A shpeel... if you will

2009-03-11T23:21:00.004-06:00

I figure I should fill all in on what I am doing at the moment. I just finished my first handful of finals for massage therapy school. Yes, that is right... Massage Therapy. I have always wanted to do this. I held out for a long time but it was time and I finally faced some fears and leaped. I love it. I enjoy learning all about the body and pathologies! I love my friends that I have made and let us not forget- I love massages as well! :) So far I have completed Massage Basics, Advanced Massage, First Aide/CPR, Reflexology, Acupressure, Anatomy 1, Business Development 1, and Movement. whew! It's been enlightening. I do massages at UCMT's clinic in lindon, UT every saturday for an internship of sorts. It has been really fun to meet new people and help where I can.

Also, I am working at Chrysalis with some wonderful people! This is a group home for those who have mental or physical disabilities. I have not given up my career as a Social Worker. In fact, I am just waiting to see if I get into the Masters Program at the U of U which starts at the end of August. This picture doesn't really depict these characters here but they are so wonderful! From left to right -Tracey, David, Steven. I LOVE THEM. Its fun to work with them. We get to do all sorts of things- 'Dance parties' , cupcake competitions, valentines day waffles, movie night, swimming, concerts, etc. It's a joy and privilege.

The only thing I feel I am lacking is time to just be with my roomies/friends, family and boys. I have this guilt... its hard to explain. It is almost like I feel that I am a single mother working and trying so hard but never have to time just to be with the ones I love or give them what they need. And obviously, I am not a single mother and everyone, hopefully, understands how crazy my schedule is... that's life... BUT I am prioritizing though. I am finding little bits and pieces where I need to get out and have some play time. I will get the hang of it soon... hopefully. :)

All in all though- Life is good. I feel really fortunate to be where I am at. That is good enough for now. So there you have it- a little shpeel into my present living life.

2009-03-09T23:30:00.000-06:00

2009-03-09T23:28:00.000-06:00

It's official

2009-03-09T23:26:00.000-06:00

Kate reads...

2009-02-25T23:52:00.001-07:00

Tonight I, for the first time, read OUT LOUD 'The Little Prince' with a friend of mine. I loved it. It was a fun activity that was passed down from a friend to me and I was glad to be able to hopefully pass this goodness on. Everytime I read this book I like it more and more. So... if you have not read this book. Do so and do it now. You will be glad you did.

'The Little Prince' written and illustrated by Antoine de Saint Exupery

I looked out the window and what did I see?

2009-02-18T20:12:00.000-07:00

I love you

2009-02-13T01:31:00.002-07:00

As I sit and eat a take 5 I wonder why the sugar commodities are so plentiful with valentines day? I don't care for it. If anything I feel too much sugar only makes me feel sick, unsatisfied and lumpy. Don't get me wrong. I agree with a day devoted to affection BUT... think that should be more regular than a generic 'day o love'. I must admit though... Feb. 14th and me have had our fair share of wonderful experiences. I don't pity myself on this day as some might. I find it a day to reflect, be grateful and live out right. So with not much more to say I will tell you of some thing I love at the moment.

I love that its beginning to get brighter each morning and how after school on my way to work it's not dark but it's creeping in.
I love listening to the Beatles and Simon and Garfunkel to wake me up heading to school.
I love the human body. SOOOO AMAZING.
I love Brie cheese... with green apples and french bread.
I love meeting people you are completely at home with.
I love sleeping.
I love to learn to love myself.
I love late night talks with my roommates.
I love my own time to myself... to put things in proper perspective and order.
I love that I am emotional and yet realize I am more emotionally sane than I thought.
I love touch... need it.
I love being warm and memory foam mattresses.
I love being needed and me needing others.
I love that I am becoming more independent.
I love Steven, Tracy and David, with whom I work.
I love time to be busy and time to chill out.
I love my family. With our belly laughs that make us cry and tiffs so innocent they are forgotten in moments.
We are so perfectly imperfect... that is something I love.
I love friends who fit into family catergory. They too have shaped me.
I love laundry dry sheets. mmmm so good.
I am happy and I love that.

So much more... but am glad that there is more to love than hate and cringe at. Hope you all enjoy your fair share of lovin and sugar this weekend.

As the Beatles say....

2009-02-10T22:37:00.001-07:00

LET IT BE

Rita! Its your birthday!

2009-02-01T14:22:00.001-07:00

2009-02-01T14:21:00.000-07:00

2009-02-01T14:20:00.002-07:00

I can't really explain how absolutely wonderful it was to find such an amazing individual. Rita has touched my life in more ways than one. I met her on a warm day in Liepaja, after jumping off a bus trying to reconnect with my companion...(we got lost in translation) I couldn't help but talk to her. She was sweet, shy, and so loving. I learned more of what Christ's love felt like because of this little gem. I love her teasing and laughter. Her hugs and short answers. I love her closed mouth smiles and playing sports with her. I love praying with her and talking of deeper things. I love HER. Essentially, life would be altogether different without her in it. Happy happy birthay. -- With love across the sea.

2009-01-30T22:40:00.002-07:00

For all of you who don't know- Wright and Steph have moved into mom and dads house for now. I have to say though... I am relieved they are still with in driving range for me. I really can't explain the loss I am feeling with family not so close and friends not so available as they once used to be. I am not saying that in a depressed attitude just a normal response to change. I, obviously, will understand and realize why and how great it will be in the future... but as for now... Its still a coping process. It's like starting my life all over again after the mish.

So... tonight I took advantage of some of my last moments with the kids at home and came to have an 'auntie Kate sleepover'. I started it off with hugging, giggling and wrestling. Then on we went to a romantic top ramen dinner shared with little Wright Jr. (He refers to me as -Anna or Rachel most often... but when he gets all cute and cuddly... he uses my name. Its music!) We,then,watched the movie Ratatouille. Taylor fell asleep and eventually Wright wandered off to do the same. That is where Faith took over. She couldn't stop talking and cuddling and rubbing everyone down. (She is sooo affectionate. :)) When the movie ended...(which made me want to cook) Faith decided not to let me get up. We had a duel and then she got ready for beddy bye and, now, all are slumbering sweetly.

I, now, am off to get some supplies for tomorrows birthday breakfast for Kathleen. She is in town (which is rare) and wanted to celebrate her day of birth. Happy Birthday friend. Which, by the way, reminds me of a show I love on tv right now. Its called ACE OF CAKES. I seriously want to make a mad cake one of these days. Who is with me?! Fridays are open for any adventure.

2009-01-25T12:45:00.003-07:00

2009-01-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

2009-01-23T00:57:00.000-07:00

2009-01-23T00:56:00.000-07:00

2009-01-23T00:55:00.000-07:00

2009-01-23T00:54:00.000-07:00

Hummus lovers need this

2009-01-19T21:15:00.001-07:00

River Jordan

2009-01-19T21:12:00.002-07:00

2009-01-19T21:12:00.001-07:00

2009-01-19T21:09:00.000-07:00

2009-01-17T23:35:00.000-07:00

Just watched "Becoming Jane". That was hard for me.

2009-01-16T11:25:00.000-07:00

2009-01-14T23:27:00.000-07:00

2009-01-14T23:21:00.000-07:00

2009-01-13T19:15:00.001-07:00

2009-01-12T19:31:00.000-07:00

2009-01-09T08:44:00.000-07:00

2008-12-26T21:35:00.002-07:00

Drat.... I thought Tay's video was uploaded. It's ADORABLE! Well Friends... I am off on an adventure. My first days of 2009 will be one I have never experienced. Hopefully if will kick me back into gear. I am heading off to the Holy Land and can't wait to feel what I will feel like there. I have thought of how I could prepare for this awesome experience and really don't know how I would ever fully be able to do that. I go with a camera, journal, scriptures, a good friend and no phone. Happy New Years! I love you.

So this is Christmas

2008-12-26T00:51:00.004-07:00

Yes... Anna was my gift, Candle tradition rocked my world, Unplugged a baptismal font on Christmas eve and soooo much more. I made silly little ornaments for my roomies and couldn't go to sleep without watching Taylor singing me this song. Merry Christmas all ya'll. I love you.

snuggle

2008-12-20T00:34:00.004-07:00

I just finished watching "the incredible gift"(or something like that) while snuggling with two youngsters who 'couldn't sleep'. I debated on the idea of them getting out of bed to come watch it with me but then thought- "When do I get chances like this?" So once again, I am the favorite auntie Kate.
It was something I will never forget. Taylor falling asleep in a ball on my left, after chowing down some serious grapes, and Faith, getting a sleepy voice, saying "I like this movie... don't you?" over and over again on my right.
I got all emotional after putting them to bed and talking with Jen. I am going to miss these little people being around and available whenever I want to come and see them.
Its hard to think that once I left there... I might possibly never be back. (Wright and Steph are moving the first week of January, I believe.)
You could say it was hard for me not having my family all living in Utah like pre mish. Things change, time rolls and know I am getting a lot out of it... but sometimes I just wish and want em here.
Is that too much to ask?!

2008-12-13T01:26:00.001-07:00

To me dance is something that is apart of me. Its something I need. Another semester is over and my last dance class/performance has, yet again, ended. I always wonder if that is the last time I will set foot in a dance class or be apart of a team. It would be devastating. I have found that through dance I can truly let it all out... I feel something so wonderful and strange that hasn't been discovered in anything else that I do. Its such a release and comfort. I feel completely myself and so vulnerable... Perhaps I will incorporate it into my career? Maybe I will just be the viewer on the other side? But it needs to be apart of my life.

Financial Reality

2008-12-09T23:39:00.001-07:00

I took a plunge. I applied for my first financial aide and it's kinda killing me slowly from the inside out. I begin to wonder about jobs I don't have and the ways in which I will never be able to pay back what is expected of me. I feel panic ebbing. What about in 8 months? Totally depleted of all income and nothing to support the 'family' I had saved up for all those years? Can I do it? Will I get it back? How am I going to contribute? Muscles tensed, headache in the back of my skull... Man oh man
BUT
I am okay

Jingle Bells

2008-12-08T16:29:00.003-07:00

Cara and I found jingle bell rings. This is the outcome.

What else could I ask for on my day of thanks?

2008-11-29T09:39:00.006-07:00

Magic tricks, superman, booger noses.
Dancing in the movie theater with the chillins and Steph.
Running on texan terrain.
Squirrels have the 'heebee's'... (Faith is terrified of em because of this)
Shark game outside with family. Yes. Mom and Dad were running.
Faiths birthday planning skills.
Bingo
Missionary notes to all the missionaries going home.
Prepare food, cook food, eat food and more food.
Dance concert starring Faith, Taylor and Wright, with me accompanying them on the piano. side note: Stickers on face- 'Slightly uncomfortable.'
Copy cat game
Rolls crumbled all over the floor...
Hiding rolls with Rachel and Grant. (Word to the wise... momma no likie)
Mom's tired silly mood.
Wrights little laugh, Faiths cuddling, Taylors tantrums and Tristans starring/drooling.
Decorating turkey pie hands
'Into the Wild' is inspiring and depressing.
Fountainhead is lookin good.
Rice Krispies stuck to blankets.
Sea Shell massages... surprisingly ticklish
American Doll Stores
Standards night
General Authority restroom with heater....oh mama
Time to talk, play and sleep
"Texas is so big it is as big as a wrestler."
Rachel, Grant, Mom, Dad, Wright, Steph, Faith, Taylor, Wright Jr. and Tristan....

the Gratitude dance

2008-11-23T19:23:00.003-07:00

Here, here to Thanksgiving! Some friends and I have decided, or rather, 'packed' to do this on the morn of thanksgiving. Come join in on our gratefulness. Man... I am totally grateful. :)

Martha Graham

2008-11-19T10:19:00.002-07:00

Our arms start from the back because they were once wings.

Sister... Darling....

2008-11-17T19:17:00.002-07:00

Oh how I love thee! You are mine and mine forever. You are making 30 look like it is 16. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I, as you know, have always wanted to be you... but coming to grips that is quite impossible I am happy and content being me and having you as my sister. You inspire me and make me want to do things I never knew I was capable of. You are full of insight and intrigue. You are sassy and silly. You care for people and love so immensely. Hope all the birthday bashes know what they are getting when you step into the room. I do. Love you mucho and so much more.

WALL E

2008-11-11T22:03:00.003-07:00

I loved this movie!

"Aspire"... this was a blast from a wonderful past

2008-11-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

I have a miracle to tell you about.

2008-11-01T13:08:00.006-06:00

Thursday night I had come to find out that the application for the U of U's Social Work Masters program was due on the 1st of November... (Meaning 2 days from then).

I was frantic. The next morning I zoomed up to the U of U to pick up the application packet and the secretary questioned me if I was 'really serious' about applying or not. I was firm in how I answered but somehow in the elevator I could feel my eyes swelling up with tears. I quickly stopped, bolstered myself up and decided to not give up.

I sped back to Provo for my 10 o' clock class. I was late and so I parked in the teachers lot for about 25 minutes. It was a dance class. I didn't feel relieved as I usually do after dancing but ran out barefoot to move my car...Got a parking ticket.

I began my process of applying- Apply for school at the U of U, fill out the applications, get transcripts, write essays, find referrals... the whole deal. I was really worried about referrals because I was asking so late. I felt totally unprofessional. Good new is though-it worked out! I finished my application, got the referrals needed (with the help of Nate) and was able to have a little halloween fun. Miracle #1

I woke up this morning with only about 3 hours of sleep and drove to the U of U to drop of my application. I was stoked! I actually finished it!

The information in my application stated that it needed to be turned in by the 1st... mailed or delivered. I had supposed someone would be there, on the 1st, but found myself standing at locked doors...outside the building with no one around.

I kept on looking at my manila envelope and up at the building only to laugh. 'Are you serious?'
It felt like such a joke. I thought that was it. 'Maybe I could mail it but then it would be too late.'

I called my mom, thinking maybe she would know how to solve this, when I saw a man park next to my car. He got out and proceeded to walk to a trax stop(or so I thought). I had a strong feeling to turn around and follow him, so I hung up with my mom and ran to meet him. I found him at the Social Work buildings door unlocking it. I introduced myself. His name was Fred.

Fred was my miracle today. He let me in! I slid my packet under the office doors (as instructed by a pink sticky note plastered to the door) and left smiling.

Fred works on the second floor. His son just got home from his mission in Ekat. Russia.

I am going back with a bag of oranges in hand to thank him.

THANK YOU FRED!!!!

I'm in love

2008-10-29T18:38:00.001-06:00

Craving time with the parentals and loving every minute

2008-10-26T23:01:00.004-06:00

"Earth is crammed with heaven

And every common bush afire with God;

And only he who sees takes off his shoes...

the rest sit around and pluck blackberries."

--Eliz. B. Browning

I just discovered that this has been one of my mothers favorite quotes since she was in elementary school. She would write it in letters to friends and just loved it. Crazy thing was... It is one of my favorite quotes as well. I didn't discover it until college, but made a promise never to forget it.

I love finding out how similar we are in ways and how very different in others...

Today I spent time just talking with my mom about embarrassing moments, missions, and marriage.... She picked out my husbands last name. You ready? Its s-stallinovich. Yeah. I don't think she meant it to sound like 'stallin' per say.... but wanted something russian sounding :). She was really getting tired and in one of her laughing moods, which I LOVE. She got on a roll saying how she would introduce me- "this is mrs. S-stallinovich...." or "we are going to stop by and see the little S-stallinovich's" with a chuckle in between. etc... It was great. I love my mom.

It's something priceless and something I promise never to forget.

Sisters

2008-10-25T22:00:00.002-06:00

Gotta have em.

Fall runs

2008-10-22T10:15:00.003-06:00

All who know me... know I LOVE FALL. I decided it was the perfect time to kick myself into gear and have been running every morn. It's cold, it's 7 AM and leaves are smothered across the street. I am feeling better about myself. Also... those who know me know that I HATE TO RUN. Yes. It is true. I have committed myself to a little experiment of 'learning to love to run'. We will see how it goes.

On another note. Although I love fall... is it okay if I feel like I would rather want to experience this in Tallinn, Estonia? IT was a glorious fall. I don't know... just missing my home worlds away.

Volunteering today.

2008-10-01T22:43:00.004-06:00

Question- "What is a profession that only women have?"
Answer- "The profession of baby having."

Question-"If we say 'Happy Birthday'... what would we say?- _______ Halloween!"
Answer- "Horror Halloween."

Question- "What is a common injury that occurs among children?"
Answer- "Infectious diseases... that is definitely an injury to your body"

-Playing Hangman-
The word was 'CHARITY'.... we had C__AR__T__.
"Oh! I know... its- CREAM PUFF!"

I love old people.

Quotes that fell my way this past week.

2008-09-18T21:44:00.004-06:00

"I believe the biggest risk in life is not taking risks at all."
"Life is for living."
"Change is painful but ever needful."
"You can't pursuit happiness... you find it by seeking who you are... your purpose."

Friday

2008-09-14T18:12:00.002-06:00

Scene- Taylor and I, snuggling on the couch in our pjs.

Taylor looks up at me and "LooBlue...."

I taught her how to say "I love you" in russian the week I got home and she could only remember-
"I love"...

I love that- she loves.

My Grand Adventure...

2007-02-14T00:13:00.000-07:00

Starting it with -

Laser tagging with the family (yes... dad and mom running around trying to shoot me with lasers ha ha)
Magic plants outside my window that never die.
Packing up my life for the next little while.
Death Cab for cutie- Transalantism (or something like that) while showering
Listening to "I'm bringing sexy back" with the sisters as my last song. :)
Recieving heart rocks, a ring my grandpa gave my grandma, and a sand dollar.
Hugging and kissing and playing with my nieces and nephew.
Being set apart with the ones I love.
etc. etc. etc.

I am a missionary and its past my bed time now. I love you all. See you real soon... sorta. :)

2007-02-12T01:34:00.000-07:00

I have never talked with so many people in my life! I have said good bye to a lot of people I wish I didn't have to. I have to expect that things will change... I am going to. I am sad and so happy. How can both feelings be felt at the same time? In saying good byes to some my most cherished today I didn't even weep. Strange for me. I came inside and talked to Anna and felt the tears coming on but pulled them back. Why? I think, if any, this is a proper time to do it. Maybe just a new way of hiding. oops. :)

As I sat down after speaking, I realized that I had just spoken at MY farewell. wow. This is real. Really real.

A mission it will be.

2007-02-05T15:44:00.000-07:00

Today I woke up early. Not on purpose, I just naturally woke up earlier today and found myself just smiling. It feels of spring and the sun is bright and warm. A scrumptious grapefruit was for lunch and a big family home evening together with everyone to come. I am happy. Really happy.

Simplify

2007-02-02T22:30:00.000-07:00

"The ability to simplify means to eliminate the unnecessary so that the necessary may speak."

I purged my closet today. It feels real good. Its an exciting feeling to know you could live out of a suitcase...

English speaking Padres!

2007-02-01T21:47:00.000-07:00

My parents have been called to be Mission Presidents! They are leaving in July and will be finding out where they will be serving at the end of February! I can't even believe it! When they first told us about it the other night, before they got their official letter in the mail, my parents were dead serious and told me they were going to be the new mission presidents in my mission! Ha Crazy! We laughed a lot, cried a lot and just soooooo thrilled! What a beautiful blessing! Weeeeeee! I am soooo excited!

2007-01-29T01:12:00.000-07:00

With what do we hold our days?
Live free and wild,
spring and bounce.
Walk with the clovers and dance with the sparrows.
Silly simplicity dangles on the edgings of our feet
and love sweetly holds to our toes.

Mission dreams

2007-01-27T12:13:00.000-07:00

I had my first dream about my mission today. I have had previous dreams but always at the MTC or about a mission but not in my mission. Venita was my companion. We went into a home and the people spoke english. So I was doing okay. We taught a young blonde haired boy who wanted to hear more. We ate with the family and found that a girl from down my street right now (in real life) had married into this family to a guy named Shepp (my hair cut guy in real life). We left there to Josh (my friend in real life) calling me about some problems he was having in the church. I was helping him as Venita and I were walking outside when all of a sudden Venita vanishes. I dropped my phone and ran. Venita fell through the ice. Apparently we were walking on a frozen river (I just watched Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind... frozen river) I panicked and didn't know exactly how I was going to save her but managed to pull her out of the water. I held on to her and ran with her wanting her to get inside anywhere quickly because only a few minutes in that cold weather and she would be ice. I seriously was freaking out. I tried one house. Nobody. The next house- nobody and then finally I just walked in to a house even if no one was home because Venita was about to die. Turns out Venita lived and the house we broke into had people who were interested in learning about the Gospel. I told them thank you and who I was in Russian. (Some main things I know how to say right now). It was a good dream and a nightmare all in one. Man. Its closer now. 18 days.

24 days! What do you think about that! Weeeeeee!

2007-01-21T20:41:00.000-07:00

kiss

2007-01-15T12:42:00.000-07:00

2007-01-14T12:10:00.000-07:00

You know those times when you laugh so hard that your face feels like it is going to fall off and your stomach is one hard mass of muscle? I experienced this last night. It was absolutely blissful. It feels good to be sooo happy, where you are actually drained from the greatness of it all.

Since the call...

2007-01-07T20:09:00.000-07:00

Just some photos from the cruise with my sisters, opening my call, going through the Manti temple, Angels Landing(Zions Fall 'o6!), Snowboarding trip from Hell with Kathleen, Ventia home at last, my last trip to Idaho, Christmas time, Yurt Adventure #2 and our(Emily, Nate and Kate) candlelight dinner night with a depressing movie to top it off. :) I have loved the memories!

2007-01-07T20:08:00.001-07:00

2007-01-07T20:08:00.000-07:00

2007-01-07T20:07:00.000-07:00

2007-01-07T20:06:00.000-07:00

2007-01-07T20:01:00.000-07:00

2007-01-05T19:32:00.000-07:00

Today has been a good day. There are times where I can just sit and think and read and not stressed in any way. Not a care in the world. I 'reflected' a lot today as well. I read old emails on my BYUI account and thought of my first years in college. I looked at old photos of my father growing up and pictures of when my Mom and Dad were dating and engaged. It was nice. I ate lunch with my sister and Mom and saw a whole flock of little sing song birds fly across the sky. I watched an episode of the office and felt bad for Michael. I sat by my fire and thought about a mission that seems so foreign to me. Life is wonderful. Its simple and beautiful. To think from where I started and to be sitting where I am now. I have learned so much. I have met so many wonderful people. I have seen and felt things like never before. I love the memories. I love the new ones that will come. I love living.

Dang Insecurities!

2007-01-03T21:43:00.000-07:00

I have a very VERY difficult time handling situations where I am not understood. I know I have a problem communicating. For years I tried every way to deny it. I would blame others or situations. I would play the 'victim'. I just fought the idea that I, Kate, had the problem. But I do. I am getting better, as the realization has occurred, but still find it hard for me to accept it at times. I want to think that I am not a poor communicator. I would like to think that I do nothing wrong... but that is just not true. I am humanly flawed. I try not to get emotional when I am misunderstood. I hide. I can get stubborn, fight back, second guess or hold on to things said. Not to say that I am never understood, because I find most of the time I am, but when I really feel I want to communicate something precious and important, to me, it can end up that what I was trying to say was not understood or conveyed correctly. Its frustrating and find at those times that I just want to not talk or try again. Obviously, I love talking to much not to do so but feel that maybe I never really will be understood in those 'deeper' parts of me. I can accept that. I just want that so badly. I want people to know what I intended to say even if I fumble in the communicating of it. Its a work in progress that is for sure. Language is a mystery. I struggle, lately, with myself about going on my mission and not having anyone understand me. Insecurities are shown. I know the words have power but the message I am proclaiming is much deeper than words. It will be felt. All I can do it try again.

Tired

2006-12-30T01:02:00.000-07:00

I had a realization today. I take for granted what I have. I was making one of my friends feel bad that he didn't come on this Yurt trip with us yesterday. He didn't want to go because of the money he could be making instead of the adventure. I told him, "But what about the memories?..." Well right after that we went and saw- The Pursuit of Happyness. There was this one part where the main character lends someone five dollars when he, honestly, has no money and how hard it must have been... I turned to my friend and said," I would just punch the guy in the neck and run off with my money," kind of just being stupid when my friend said something. "But think about all the memories..." I know he was playing with me about our last convo. but really, I never thought about it. Money is a big deal to succeed, go to school, live... And here I am saying that the yurt trip was only 15 dollars. Only 15 dollars! I know alot of people I have worked with that could be just happy having that. I am selfish, unthoughtful, and not grateful enough. Makes me think how I really should use money and how I should rethink how I live life. So I realized today.

2006-12-24T11:31:00.000-07:00

I heard the bells on Christmas day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet the words repeat
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

I thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along th’unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.

And in despair I bowed my head:
“There is no peace on earth,” I said,
“For hate is strong and mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good will to men.”

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep:
“God is not dead, nor doth he sleep;
The wrong shall fail, the right prevail,
With peace on earth, good will to men.”

Till, ringing, singing, on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime, a chant sublime,
Of peace on earth, good will to men!

There's something about-

2006-12-20T19:05:00.000-07:00

The fresh scent of pine.
The bushes by my bedroom window and how they are green all year long.
The lady who conducts songs, on her radio, while driving.
The sound of the heater turning on.
The huge snowflakes that take their time falling.
Egyptian Licorice herbal tea and Mint Hot Chocolate.
The christmas lights framing my roof.
Decorating the tree.
Singing by the fire at night with my family.
Old Christmas claymation movies.
Scarfs, gloves, hats, and more.
The cool, crisp air and the bundles you roll yourself into.
The family I have.
The smiles and laughter.

There is just something about it.

Much to be thankful for...

2006-12-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

150 Years ago today my great great grandmother, Mary Goble Pay, entered the Utah valley with the Willy and Martin Handcart Companies. It was around nine'o'clock that cold winter night. Mary was sitting in the wagon cradling her mothers head, who had just passed away. Tonight I was able to sit with a huge group of family that came about because of her. She had 13 kids and what a woman she was. What a feeling of love I have for this woman and the pioneers who strived to follow the Prophet and walk into the unknown. What where they wearing? What had they eaten? How many had died? What were their feelings as they came out of that canyon? Amazing. Truly.

Christmas Devotional 2006

2006-12-03T23:05:00.000-07:00

What a wonderful time of year. I think everyday this week I was compelled to tear up due to some instance where I realized true happiness. Where I really understood what makes me happy. This Christmas Devotional was good. I learned a lot from it. When and where do I do things for others that they cannot do for themselves? Do I consciously make an effort to do that and to do more? Do I give God my heart, my all? Do I focus on the 'Spirit of Christmas'? How strong is my faith? Why haven't I met my neighbors I don't know? Do I make time or do I just watch t.v.? Tonight a lot of questions were rushing around in my head. I want to be more. Be better.

I smiled as I sat there, all snuggled up with Anna, Jessie and Scott watching. Loved seeing Scott gently kiss Jessie on the forehead or watching Jessie cross stitch a masterpiece with only one hand. I loved being able to put my head on Annas shoulder and write my thoughts down on paper. I love just being there. Being with my family. Its Home.

Whistle while you work

2006-12-01T15:31:00.000-07:00

Got home from the gym. Rachel had made breakfast. Good! It was oven baked eggs with some good ol' spices like rosemary, basil, thyme, etc. I cleaned up. She cooked so I wanted to clean for her. BUT that was not the end of my cleaning. The fridge at my parents house just kills me! Always has. It smells funny, has weird food just piled in it from who knows and just not very feng shui. So.... I cleaned the entire fridge. Feels a lot better now. Beautiful and neat. Makes everything more enjoyable for me in the kitchen. Wish I had a before and after shot. Man on man. There is just something about having things clean and doing it with my own hands.

Stranger Than Fiction

2006-11-28T21:51:00.000-07:00

Just saw it. Go to it. See it. Love it. It seriously makes me want to wake up in the morning and be... 'Me'.

Do you know?

2006-11-27T18:21:00.000-07:00

So, does anyone know where to find- Womens size 9 1/2 thick soled,insulated, waterproof, polishable boots? Cause I don't.

Thanksgiving!

2006-11-23T17:06:00.000-07:00

I love you all. I miss you all. I am thankful for you all! Hope Thanksgiving was fabulous!

Alma 32:27

2006-11-21T19:47:00.000-07:00

But behold, if ye will awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words.

Three Cheers! Hip Hip... HOORAY!

2006-11-21T19:42:00.000-07:00

Do you know what I like? Happy People! Life is just too dang good to be otherwise. :)

Enjoy!

2006-11-09T23:28:00.000-07:00

There is something I love about the end of fall and the start of winter. I have this tradition, if you will, where after I have been gone all day from home- I drive into the circular driveway in the darkness of night, park, turn off my car and let the 'music' continue as I watch the first flakes of a wonderful season come falling down onto me and watch how my front door is colored by them. Its simple and beautiful. Such joy it gives me. Then after soaking it all in. I open my door and the cool air touches my face. I smile. And with one last look for the night, I walk inside.
Its just a wonderful feeling. It in a way, this season, gives me this feeling of wanting to be loved. Weird probably I know. But summer flings or whatever... the season of fall and winter is completely comfortable, warm, and just romantic. I want to be loved. Everyone, I am sure, does. But the end of fall and the start of winter brings somewhat of a feeling like that with it. Good times...

Just call me 'certified'!

2006-11-09T12:38:00.000-07:00

I just got home from a four hour test for my licensure as a social worker. I passed!!!! I was so scared I wouldn't for some reason and when the screen came up and told me if I had passed or not. I automatically thought I didn't pass. But once realizing it acutally was a big fat 'pass' instead I screamed! ha. Yeah! I am just so grateful.

www.myspace.com/emilyhopepricecello

2006-11-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

That is Emily's myspace account. Go listen to her!

The beginnings of a cello player.

2006-11-06T19:40:00.000-07:00

I just want to write and express something. My cello teacher, Emily, once asked why I wanted to play the cello. I responded in mumble sort of manner not really knowing how to express why I wanted to learn... I went to one of her house concerts and tears welled in my eyes hearing and seeing Emily play. So there I was, trying to express why I wanted to play the cello when in all actuality I was describing or trying to describe what was right in front of me. Emily. That is why I want to play. Because of people like her. She is truly amazing. She is passionate. She has emotion. She really loves what she does and its all about the music. She is creative and talented and deep down soul-full. I just really am so glad that I was able to be taught by her. Even once. She has made learning the cello not just a hobby for me but an instrument I will never forget. She is going to be big! :) She asked me to play in her last house concert, which I really hesistated on. Its totally not what I do. I fear it. I fear being alone and everyone watching me play. I fear messing up. But because of those reasons I decided I would accept the challenge and just suck it up no matter the outcome. I was nervous. I mean.... My whole body was shaking and couldn't stop! Hands sweaty, Rashed completely... So when I played with my bow it had a nice little influctuation from my body shaking! I kept going though. Tried to not think about what I was actually doing, performing in front of a crowd, and just did it. It wasn't my finest. It wasn't some immaculate thing. It wasn't perfect. But for me I learned that I don't have to be perfect. No one is expecting perfect. Just do the best you can. So there you have it. I, Kate, am learning the cello from the greatest teacher in the world and faced a fear. Thanks Emily.

The Russian Alphabet

2006-11-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness!

2006-10-26T09:57:00.000-06:00

I have been called to serve as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in the Baltic Mission!!!! (That consists of Estonia, Lithuania, and Latvia! I will be learning Russian and leave on February the 14th! Valentines day. Ha. I am so excited and shocked that it feels so surreal! I AM GOING ON A MISSION!!!!! :) Whopee!!!!